


and we eat the poisoned fruit and rejoice in our ailment

by J_Ace_Flicker



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: ADHD Gon Freecs, Autistic Gon Freecs, Badass Leorio, Canon Atypical Violence, Canon Typical Violence, Cat Boy Killua, Everyone is now 18+ because allowing babies to participate in death matches is questionable lmfao, Everyone is queer here and in all of my other stories that is a FACT, Fae Gon Freecs, Gender Non-conforming Gon Freecs, Genderfluid Kurapika (Hunter X Hunter), Ging Freecs's A+ Parenting, Gon Freecs has Discalculia, Hunter Exam: now with age restrictions!, I am compiling a google doc that will be scene ideas and lore, I have some ideas for Hanzo because I loved him in my first watch of the show, I love you and we ARE married now, If you look closely, Kick Ging's Ass Club whaddup, Lore - Freeform, Seriously I hate that man, So much Lore, Strange!Gon AU, Swearing, The Dark Continent, The story title and chapter titles are from a poem i wrote when I was feeling dysphoric lmfao, Trans Leorio Paladiknight, anyone who comments with headcanons or predictions..., fair folk au, it's already three pages long, shorter chapters mean quicker updates!!!, so enjoy that, the Kurta aren't fae or anything they are just Like ThatTM and I adore that, the summary is bad and my two brain cells refuse to cooperate on it so, why doesn't he have more content???, you will see my weird fascination with language creation and etymology!!!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:33:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24311350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/J_Ace_Flicker/pseuds/J_Ace_Flicker
Summary: Whale Island turns people strange, but Gon arrived already touched by something decidedly Other.His eyes are black and brown and grey and green and gold and every possible color but blue. He moves with the ease of a shadow, flows with the flicker of the light.And he's not the only one.The Thing inside of him is coveted-- as it is coveted in others, too. Will he be able to keep his sense of self, or will he be stripped away and filled with something terrifying and new?
Comments: 7
Kudos: 10





	1. Hello, dear Wanderer

**Author's Note:**

> Writing something so short is killing me, but I want to try to update more often and I know that if I remove the pressure of chapters that are like 10 pages each I will update more frequently. Please enjoy!  
> Also: my main tumblr blog is @thisislightful if you wanna DM or talk about headcanons outside of the comments

Gon should have known better. He should have, but he didn’t.

“You’re like me,” he said to the man with pink skin and impossible hair and  _ different-inhuman-STRANGE _ lashing about him.

“Oh, am I?” He flicks his wrist and reveals two cards, the Five of Spades and the Jack of Spades, before curling them in front of his smirk. “I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.”

Gon should have known better.

“You’re like me, but you can  _ lie _ .”

But the thing is, the hollow in him is always aching for connection.

The man’s marigold eyes narrow.

“ _ Oh _ ?”

~

“Oh, are you  _ sure _ you want to take the Hunter Exam, Gon?”

“Of course I am, Aunt Mito!” His grin split his face and they both felt the warmth of his love. “Besides,” he touched his forehead to his aunt’s, only an inch or so taller than her, “I promised that I care for you, didn’t I?”

She smiled weakly, soil brown eyes watery, “You did, Gon. You did.”

On Whale Island, things were Strange.

One such Strangeness was the phrase  _ I care for you.  _ It was a thousand times more powerful than any  _ I love you _ to the inhabitants of the island. It only ever needed to be said the once, because it was forever.

Ging had never said the phrase to anyone.

_ I promise to care for you _ means  _ I love you _ means  _ I will protect you  _ means  _ I will provide for you _ . It means  _ I will come back _ .

The salt on the wind tickled his nose and called out to him.

“I gotta go, mom.”

Mito laughed. “I still can’t get over you calling me that.” She pushed him towards the ship. “I love you, Gon.”  _ Come back to me. _

“I love you, too!”  _ I will! _ The cording muscles of his brown legs bunched, and with a leap and a swirl of the diaphanous fabrics of his skirt, he was on deck of the ship. He knew, with unwavering certainty, that this was the start of something great.


	2. How have you been?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please be aware that I have no beta and I write these all in one go.  
> Me, starting to write this chapter: this'll be a short thing I could probably write on my phone :)  
> Me, ending this chapter: This took up 10 pages on google docs and is over 2,000 words h o w

Gon landed atop the deck near-silently, weight on his toes, naturally sinking into a crouch, and bounced up easily and joyfully.

“Ha!” He tilts himself to look at the lower deck, and quickly found himself frowning. There’s an almost waifish young man with burgundy hair stumbling around, fumbling with apples while other men-- his fellow crewmen-- are kicking them out of his reach.

This clumsy man does not inspire the Pull in him, is not someone who will be important in his life, but that means nothing. One’s companions should _never_ be cruel like that. It’s wrong. The thought sets his teeth on edge in a chorus of _wrong wrong wrong._ And the red-head is so painfully, obviously new to this, still shy and still learning; the unfairness of it all prickles unpleasantly at his skin.

Besides, the man feel like a good person. He hasn’t done anything _wrong wrong wrong_. That, more than anything else, spurred Gon into action.

“Hey!” He leaped again-- the sky tries to claim him, but gravity calls and catches him. He lands in front of the red-head, his back to him, his smile wide.

“What the f--”

Gon boops the man on the nose. His smile remains fixed, but his brows lower, and his voice is somber. “That was mean.” The man backs up, confused and scared and confused as to _why_ he was scared. Gon picks up an apple, never taking his eyes off of the older man. Gon turns, instantly softening. “Here.” He places the apple gently in the barrel. “My name’s Gon.”

“Uh, thanks--”

“Back to work!” The captain-- and the man who the sea wraps around so completely can be nobody _but_ the captain-- emerges from the wheelhouse. His crew salute and bustle along.

Gon does not call after the apple boy to ask what his name is. It will not stick, for it is not his to carry.

“Yer an interestin’ one fer sure!” Gon looks at the captain’s wild, grey beard, the white streaking through it like crashing waves. He bares his teeth-- too flat, too thick, too sharp-- in a smile.

“Un!”

The captain laughs.

He wonders if the man knows that “There’s a storm coming.”

The captain stops laughing.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“How can you tell?”

The green-haired man flares his nostrils. “I can smell it.” Electricity kisses at the nape of his neck. “I feel it.”

The captain’s eyes are the pale blue of clear waters, and they glisten with the wisdom of a sailor who’s seen death, who knows the strength and malice of the ocean and still loves it in its entirety. “Crew…” his voice trails off, then he bellows, “Prepare for a storm! It’s gonna be a big ‘un!”

“Aye, captain!”

The apple boy trips again, the storm tickles at him, and Gon was giggling with glee.

What a great start to this adventure!

~

Below deck, they are sheltered, but the rocking and roiling of the turbulent waves was still keenly felt.

“Lord, help me,” moaned one man.

“ _Shit_ ,” spat a woman.

“I’m no lord, but I can get you some water,” Gon offered.

The woman gasped out, “Please.”

His fingers were wrapping around the doorhandle when a deep voice called out, “Oi, get me one of those green apples while you’re at it, yeah?”

Gon whirled around, his skirts twisting about his legs. _The Pull._ He’d gotten so distracted by the excitement of the storm that he’d ignored the tugging just below his chest, at his diaphragm, like a breath being taken for him. He was already turning to the second tug before the other voice spoke up.

“There’s no need to be rude, they’re being kind. Not even a please?”

“He was already getting up-- it’s not like I’m asking him to go out of his way.”

“They’re helping the infirm. You seem fine.”

“Well--”

“I’ll get it, I’ll get it. Don’t worry!” Gon waved it off, beaming at them and choking down the euphoria that demanded he flap his hands and rock and shout. He quirked his head at the blond. “You want anything?”

The blond smiles. “No, but thank you.” Their-- his?-- grey eyes narrowed at the lounging, suited man. “That wasn’t so hard now, was it?”

The door closes before Gon can hear the man’s reply, but he catches the man’s squawk of rage and descends into peals of laughter.

He hasn’t even taken three steps before someone slams into his chest. He reaches out a hand to steady them. 

“Sorry!” It’s apple boy. “The captain told me not to let anyone out of the room if it’s not an emergency.” He seems apologetic, and there’s no reason for that.

“Ah, okay. Can you get me a few glasses of water an a green apple? I’m trying to stop people from throwing up.

“... How blunt… Okay, I can do that for you!”

~

Gon can’t say how much time passed before the captain strutted in, the storm still going strong.

“Lookit this bunch’a pansies,” the captain sneers, then sighs, “Right then, who’s left?”

“I am!” Gon jumps to his feet, raising a hand in the air. Its the hand that’s holding a glass of water. He cringes. He forgot it was there and almost opened his palm. Close one!

“Me too.” The blond smoothly stands up, their smile tight and polite.

Oh, Gon can’t wait to break that habit of-- his?

“Oi, oi. Don’t go forgetting me now.”

“With how loud and obnoxious you are, you’re rather hard to forget. Despite your plain appearance.”

“Who’re you calling plain?!”

“You, obviously.”

“A’right, a’right, you’re both pretty, ya?” 

“Am I pretty?” Gon blinks guilelessly at the captain. The captain sweats.

“Er, yeah, sure.”

Gon’s chest puffs out. “Thanks!”  
The captain cackles. “I like you. Now c’mon, we gotta go to the wheelhouse. I’m the only one I trust to man this ship in a storm like this.”

The walk is awkward. Gon is vibrating in excitement, but his two new Pulls are glaring at each other. The captain ignores it all until his hands are on the steering wheel, and even then he addresses them without looking at them. “Kay, so: what’re yer lots names and yer motivations for bein’ a Hunter?”

“We don’t have to tell you anything!”

Gon _hhmmmss_. He has to forcibly stop himself from continuing the sound. It felt nice in his throat. “I’m Gon! Part of my reason is that my dad is a Hunter, yeah? And I wanna know what was so great about being a Hunter that he couldn’t stick with me. But it also sounds like a lotta fun! Aunt Mito loves stories, and being a Hunter means making a lot of cool ones! I guess there’s really a ton of reasons, but those are my main ones!”

“Hey! Didn’t I _just_ say we didn’t have to tell him about that!” The man grabs Gon by the fur on his shirt and yanks him close, mouth snarling and glasses glinting. Gon doesn’t fight the smile that bubbles from inside him. This Pull is _fun_.

“Yeah, and you don’t have to, but I don’t care who knows why I’m doing this. It’s not a secret.” Gon scrunches his nose. “I hate keeping secrets.”

The blond laughs, and the man with glasses whips around to yell at-- her. “What the hell is so funny?”

“Gon’s right, you know.”

“How.”

“If it’s not a secret, then it doesn’t hurt to say.” They addressed the captain. “My name is Kurapika, but I’m afraid my reasons for becoming a Hunter are somewhat more… confidential than Gon’s.”

Gon suddenly remembered, “Oh, yeah! What’re your pronouns, by the way?”

Kurapika’s smile warmed. “I am genderfluid. If you can’t tell which way I’m presenting at any given time, then asking or defaulting to they/them is fine.”

“You’re a girl now, right?”

She blinked. “Yes, actually. You catch on quick! And what’re yours?”

“He/him!”

“What.” The man blinked. Sighed. Waved a dismissive hand at them all. “Whatever. I’m not saying, old man.”

“A’right. Then ye fail.”

“WHAT?!” Kurapika and the man chorused. They snarled at each other.

“I’m not a proctor or anythin’. I just… I weed out the ones too weak to even get to the first phase of the exam.” The ship lurched. “None of ya are gonna get to the exam site without my say so.”

A beat of silence. Kurapika spoke up. “My clan was slaughtered by the Phantom Troupe. Everyone I have ever known and loved is dead. I seek revenge. If I become a Blacklist Hunter, I will gain many privileges and more easily travel through usually impossible avenues of information.” Her fists clenched. Her eyes burned red. “The Kurta Clan is dead. As its sole survivor, I _must_ avenge it. I _must_ become a Hunter, at any cost.”

The man sighed. “Jeez, way to make me look uncool.” He rolled his shoulders, popping his back. “Name’s Leorio, remember that. Being a Hunter means profit. The biggest draw of being a Hunter is the paycheck, ya dig? I’m in it for the money.”

“So, you’re greedy in addition to being rude.” She refuses to look at him. “Tch. Typical.”

“Who’re you to judge? You’re in this for murder, plain and simple. I bet that you want the heads of this ‘Phantom Troupe’,” he pulled out the finger quotes and Gon flinched. He wasn’t the most socially savvy, but he could tell this wouldn’t end good. “Or whatever, to turn them in for the reward money.”

Kurapika’s eyes _burned_ . “Being a Hunter is a profession ruled by morals and justice. Money _can’t_ be your only motivator.”

“Well, it is, and you’ll just have to deal with it.”

“You’ll never make it.” Kurapika was a rabid thing. Gon decided to try to remember to ask _what_ about this conversation had made her so mad. “You’ll die before we even get to the exam. They’d never pass someone like _you_.”

“Someone like me, eh?” Leorio leaned in close to Kurapika’s face. “I’m gonna become a Hunter, even if you don’t like it. With how naive you are, though, I don’t doubt you’ll die-- no one will avenge the Kurta then, huh?”

There was a tension in the room, where they all felt that this had gone a step too far.

“Take that back.”

“Not until you take what you said back.”

“I refuse.”

“Guess there’s only one thing for it then.” Leorio sets down his suitcase and straightens his blazer. “Let’s go outside and fight. We’ll see who the bigger man is, then.” He paused. “Er. You know what I meant.”

“I do.” She wrenched open the door and stomped outside, Leorio slipping out behind her. 

“Should we stop ‘em?”

Gon paused. “No. Aunt Mito said that you can tell what people really care about when they’re mad. They both got really mad, and they both kept hitting each other. They gotta fight it out now. It’s okay, though. Since they both care so much, I think it’ll resolve itself.”

He watched his Pulls for a minute, before directing his gaze at the sails. “Oh, no!” He sprinted out the door, lunging forward to grab at the rope and to pull. With his weight behind them, the crew was able to steady their feet.

Apple boy, clumsy apple boy, lost his grip; his feet went skidding across the slick deck. He was going overboard.

Apple boy wasn’t a Pull. But that didn’t matter. Because Gon still cared, and that meant he had to protect him. 

“Brace yourselves!” he yelled to the others, before dropping the rope and leaping. His feet hit the deck only once more before he lunged. The sky had its turn at him, and now the sea got its turn. Both pulling, calling. He ignored them, gripped the hands of the frightened boy. Because apple boy didn’t have enough experience to be a man, yet, was in that awkward transition of childhood to adulthood, and Gon would protect him with his life. He noted his Pulls out of the corner of his eyes, and instantly felt safe.

He tried to hook his feet on the railing, but the ship lurched and he missed. 

At least he knew how to swim. Because he wasn’t dying here.

He refused.

“Ah!” Two sets of hands grabbed his calves, and he and apple boy slammed into the side of the ship. “Oof. You okay?”

“I-- I guess?”

“What the hell were you doing? You would have died if we hadn’t grabbed you!”

Gon hoisted apple boy up a little more in his arms as Kurapika and Leorio started pulling them up. “I knew you’d catch me!”

And he had known, with a certainty he’d bet his life on.

“Gah! Don’t go trusting people so easily!”

“I hate to admit this, but Leorio’s right! Not everyone would catch you!”

“But you’re not everyone. You’re Leorio and Kurapika.”

They both blushed and stammered at that.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that about you or your clan. I took a petty argument too far.”

“I apologize, as well. Not everyone shares my opinions and beliefs, and I should respect that.”

The two smiled at each other.

Gon decided: these were his friends, now. He cared for them.

Soaking wet and happier than ever, Gon knew this was the right choice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are gonna follow canon for a bit, just to set the stage. There's gonna be a ton of small canon divergences that make way for the big ones I have planned.  
> Also, I dunno WHAT the captain's accent/dialect is but it sure is, huh?  
> I decided to try out something more dialogue heavy-- please tell me if I should Stop That xD


End file.
